Having lost his mind and making himself what I imagine to be the recipient of gazillions of limericks, Roger Ebert is running a little limerick contest. Below are five of my lame efforts, only some of which I submitted.
Please note: limericks are almost by definition ribald, so if you have a polite sensibility — you have been warned!
i)
It seems Mr. Ebert has blest
the Web with an onerous test,
to conspire a rhyme
considered a crime
quite awful, but for the jest.
ii)
There is a woman I know, Tenacity,
who amazes with her capacity
to love through the night
without any respite
and with a tenacious rapacity.
iii)
“My love,” I said proudly, “is long.”
She agreed but said, “That ain’t no prong.
“A tumescent lift
makes a sturdier gift.
If you can’t get wood, keep your dong.”
iv)
I’d been unfollowed, even unfriended.
My digital world was back-ended
By the whims of the few
Who had taken the view
To unlove me as they had pretended.
v)
A woman of big-boned physique
Had a talent considered unique.
She made love with her ass
As she released gas
And she did so with nary a squeak!
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