After posting Violence, power and four letter words I continued to muse about the subject and had a few other thoughts. Of course, I’m just speculating here, but …
One of the characteristics of our use of four letter words is that quite often, while expressive of violence, they are also expressions of impotence. It’s related to power again, I think. We’re frustrated with something or someone, are unable to exert control over the situation, and the four letter words are like swinging fists at empty air.
The other thing I wondered about was how the world has changed in how freely we use such language now. There was a time when four letter words (and certain subjects, like sex) weren’t used in “polite society.” I’m not sure what exactly “polite society” would be considered but I do know we use words and phrases, and discuss some things privately and publicly that previous generations, like my parents’ or grandparents’, would not have.
I think it’s generally thought that those generations were more repressed, less free and willing to talk about some subjects, and on the whole the world is better for removing the restrictions and allowing us to talk freely.
I believe that’s true but I don’t think it’s exclusively true. In other words, I don’t think repression was the only thing to account for the verbal restraints or that greater verbal freedom is the only effect of loosened restraints.
In many ways, I think the restraints other generations had represented a more polite, respectful and kinder world. Repression was likely one of the aspects of those generations but I also think linguistic restraint just as often represented respect in the sense that such language wasn’t used until someone was more familiar, even intimate, with you and could be sure you would not be offended. It meant, “I’m going to respect your feelings and not do something that might offend you. I’ll wait until we know each other better and I can be sure you’re all right with certain language and topics.”
In many cases today we simply don’t care what others think. Our focus is primarily on ourselves, not the society that surrounds us and of which we’re a part — that’s secondary. I think that may have been reversed several generations back.
We’re so eager to express our individual freedom not only do we not care who we may offend, sometimes we even take pride in causing offense. It’s as if we shook off the repression we perceived of other generations and kept going past that, moving from one extreme to another. We seem to think that “polite” is something bad, courtesy is something that surrenders our independence.
The end result is that while we have a world less repressed (and I’m not sure that’s even true), with greater freedom for the individual, we also have a world that is less respectful, courteous and, yes, kind. We actually have to organize days and movements to promote them.
Perhaps we’ve paid too great price for the freedom to use four letter words?
One last other thing
I hate to use a word like “properly” but those four letter words do have a positive function when used the right way. I have a cousin who uses them “properly.”
You rarely hear him use them. As kids, I would use them, my friends used them and my other cousins used them. But this one cousin never did. Or almost never.
When he did? You can bet that he got everyone’s attention. We all knew he was upset or felt compelled to say something important. His use of the word had impact. For most of us, because we use them so freely and frequently, they have no impact.
In a way, my cousin’s use of those words was like Muhammad Ali and his “rope-a-dope.” Ali would get in the ring and dance around, staying mainly against the ropes, his arms up guarding himself, letting his opponent swing largely ineffectually, having minimal impact. Ali simply waited him out.
When his opponent was inevitably tiring, letting his guard down a bit, Ali would pick his moment. When he swung his fist it was at the right time, in the right place, for the greatest impact.
It’s the same with language — in this case, four letter words. Overuse kills their impact and renders them ineffectual.
Follow Writelife on Twitter
