My sense is that here, in the western world, we have a thing about purpose – everything and everyone must have a purpose. We get frustrated and sometimes irritable when we can’t see any.
I was thinking about this after doing one of those silly meme things on Facebook. There was a question like, “When was the last time you cried?” to which some people answered when their mother died, or their father died. I answered (since it did say the last time) that it was when my cat, Gonzo, died at 19 years of age. Part of me felt silly answering with that and it reminded me of Jack Nicholson’s character in As Good As It Gets and the scene in which, weeping, he shakes his head and says, “Over a dog. Over an ugly dog!”
And I thought about purpose and some of the people who look at pets like cats and dogs and wonder, “Why?”
Really, what is the point? They are work. They are an expense. And what do they do?
As my brain pinball-ed from thought to thought, I also recalled one of those inspirational rah-rah programs I saw one day on TV when I must have been terrifically bored – not the sort of thing I would normally watch. I think I kept watching it because the guy on it was such a good speaker. I like watching people who speak well publicly. It’s not a skill everyone has.
At one point the guy spoke of a situation in which someone had asked a question like, “What was the point?” in reference to a child who had been born with serious medical issues. The person asking the question was asking, somewhat rhetorically I image, what did the universe have in mind in bringing such a child into existence when its life would be so difficult, and it would be so difficult for the parents and so on.
The guy speaking answered the question by saying the point lay in what that child’s impact would be on the rest of us. It lay in how we responded to the child.
That’s how I think about things like cats and dogs. There are gazillions of them. From a strictly practical point of view (that view being the western view), there is no point. We don’t need them to fill a practical purpose like hauling or ploughing or some such thing. In many cases, they just lie around the house doing nothing. What is their purpose?
As Jack Nicholson’s character found, their purpose lies in how they affect us. In some curious, poorly comprehended way my dog, like my cat, makes me a better person. With the dog, it even has a less elusive benefit in that I walk at least twice a day whether I want to or not. For someone who finds doing exercise on a par with going to the dentist, that’s a very good thing.
More to the point, however (although less easy to put a finger on), they alter how we feel about the world, or so I believe. There’s the old cliché about, “You want unconditional love? Get a dog.” There’s some truth in that. But one of the things dogs and cats illustrate to us is the simplicity of relationships. We, on the other hand, are great at complicating those and over-thinking them.
Not animals. They are direct and simple. And they don’t muddle things with grudges. And they don’t equivocate.
Some people feel that dogs and cats fill a void some people may have if they don’t have children. The pets are “their children,” and it’s true some people do see pets that way. (I’m always being referred to as Molly’s “Dad.”)
I don’t see it that way, though. For one thing, I don’t think anyone should confuse pets and children. There is a huge difference and if you don’t see that … well, it’s best you don’t have children. (It’s also best for the dog or cats. They aren’t people; they’re dogs and cats.)
I also don’t see it that way because I think a dog and/or a cat can benefit families with children, and for the same reasons of directness and simplicity. It’s something worth seeing for anyone, regardless of age, in order to get some sense for empathy, sympathy, commitment and other qualities – including joy in simply being alive.
I don’t think everyone should have a pet and I’m definitely not recommending everyone get one – far from it. I’m simply saying that sometimes the purpose of something is not an obvious one, or not how we usually think of purpose.
And sometimes the purpose of something is not to have one but simply to be.
That’s my dog’s purpose: to just be a dog.
And having said all that …
Molly (my dog) does have a practical purpose, at least in her mind. Actually, she has two very clear functions. The first is to go for a walk. Seriously. I think she sees that as a purpose.
When I was away from home a while back, I had a friend look after her. That included taking her for a walk. When I came back, my friend said, laughing, “She took me for a walk!” What my friend described was how, once in the park, Molly knew every path of the walk, every turn. She lead the way and walked it.
And that is how she walks. Once in the park, she is always much more focused and very … what’s the word? Determined. And no nonsense, all business. She doesn’t need an end product — the walk is an end in itself and that’s her job. To do the walk. Twice every day. Once home … it’s play time again. But never on the walk — that’s business.
Her other purpose, as she sees it, is to announce any and all comers. I live at the end of a cul-de-sac and as far as Molly is concerned it is her job to announce anyone and everyone she does not know — and sometimes those she does. If someone new comes by and the door is open she rushes out, makes a beeline for them, stops about fifteen feet away, hair on her back up, and barks her demands: identify yourself and your intentions. “This is my hood and no one comes in without my okay.”
I think, though, she has a third purpose, one my cat Gonzo use to serve as well: to be present. I think we people often forget that aspect of our relationships. Sometimes our role is simply to be there. It’s to shuttup and just be. Present. My cat may be sleeping. My dog may be flaked out on the floor. But they are present and I am aware of them.
I think human relationships are the same. Sometimes our purpose is to just be present. Period.
For a species as function focused as we are, it may not be that easy. But try it sometime. When you feel you need a purpose, try being like a dog or cat. Try just being present.
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