If one were two
November 10th, 2008 by Bill
If one were two and two was five
And six was eighty-three,
Who could count and who could add
And how would retail be?
The dollar store would be two bucks
And birthdays would be queer
When children who are four
Are in their forty-seventh year.
The web would be less binary
For zeroes would be three
And that would muddle all the works
(I know it would for me.)
Sex would be an argument
Since a love who loves just one
Would be loving two
(and thus is love undone.)
Hockey sweaters would be neat,
just take the great Gretsky
who wore the number ninety-nine,
which would be twenty-three -
That’s Eddie Shack! Or is it,
When all of us would know
Twenty-three is seven?
See how the problems grow?
As do the migraines as we try
To wrap our heads around
These inconsistent numbers
And how they will confound.
A house that goes for eighty grand
Could cost you twenty million
And for two bits you could buy
A loft that costs a trillion!
The price of gas which, as we know,
Distresses all the nation,
Would go up when it goes down.
(This is called inflation.)
Numbers are the cornerstone
Of all we build and spend
And though they are not tactile
They must be true or rend
Our lives apart with nonsense,
As lunacy will do,
Like six when it is eighty-three
Or one when it is two.
Listen to this podcast
